Ed Sheeran in Manchester!

Went into Manchester to do a clothing return this morning with Holly, so it was an early visit and breakfast in Katsouris on corner of Deansgate/John Dalton Street.

But, as we were walking up who did we see but Ed Sheeran (omg) walking in the opposite direction!!

Well, I say Ed Sheeran, but it was actually Ed’s Foot and a half taller and Two and a half stone heavier doppleganger. He did have the ginge thing going on, (bless him) and a remarkable resemblance to Ed. And if someone with me would have taken a picture with her Iphone, i’d have the proof of the matter. I was all for asking him for a photo with a

“Blimey! Is it really you Ed? No?? Amazing! You should have a job as Ed’s body double! Learn to lip sinc mate you’ll make a bomb!!”

Anyhow, that came to nothing as someone refused to let me approach him. (It would have been mint).

So after my Kitten breakfast, we went onto a well known low lit shop to do an exchange. How people actually make a decision on what they want to buy in there I’ll never know. Can’t see a damn thing and if you want to colour coordinate – forget about it. You’ll be wandering in and out of the place just to see exactly what colour the piece is your trying to buy. If you  buy it in there blind as you are, your only going to get home, take it out of its impressive bag and go ” Oh Fuck.”

And another thing that was brought to my attention. A friend of Emily’s works in one of the shops stores and he enlightened her on how it works.

Once in the shop any staff member  has to approach you or when you approach them  say “Hi! How are you guys?!” or “Hi guys! How’s your day?”… with (if possible) an American accent(??).

What’s all that about??

Also, each member of staff carries a small bottle of in-house scent and as they walk past customers, give a little squirt so you’ll be walking around going either

A. Mmmmmmm it sure smell nice in here.

or

B. Jesus Christ. It smells like a Brothel in here.

Either way next time your in just take a step back and watch.

Finally, This shop is nothing but determined to promote its brand. The better looking staff are front row, on display to customers and have to fit particular requirements. Mainly Thin. As fuck. They’d make a speedo thong look baggy.  The lesser blessed staff are kept in the rear, lower lit areas. With some of the brighter ( get home and go “Oh Fuck”) clothes. So theres probably some rivalry between staff members. You can imagine front shop staff in the canteen with the back shop staff going, ” You can only DREAM about looking this good. Fatty.” It would be like an OCD bulimics nightmare.

So, if he was actually looking for a job there, poor old “Ed Sheeran” on John Dalton street would be fucked. Too tall. Too fat. And wayyyyyyyyy to ginger. (Bless).

 

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Optimistic New Years day bike ride…1/1/14

After spending part of 2013 getting back into shape I was keen to stay on top of the road cycling. So today I was out bright and early with Dave Burrows starting from Shaw up in Oldam.

Now I’ve worked hard to shed weight this last year and done quite well. Dave on the other hand has the body mass of a  Masai  warrior, but leaner. he could run a 10 miler no problem at a great pace. Faster if the police were after him no doubt. In fact he’d be the perfect bag snatcher because you’d never catch the fucker. First (and last thing) you would know about it, would be the sudden piroette  you would be doing as your bag went another way and the sound of receding (fast) footsteps.

I on the other hand I am built sturdy. Like a pit pony. But thinner like one that’s been starved for a while.

Anyhow..

We took off and headed up to Hollingworth Lake  then took a turn through Rochdale up towards Edenfield. It was the first of a series of climbs from the back of Spotlands (rochdales ground) running up to Old Bettes – quite a nice pub lunch venue. The first two climbs went fine and we hit the third in  reasonable high spirits with Dave saying

“Last one. It  just climbs a bit more round the corner.”

Until, that is, we hit the corner and looked at a good mile or so straight climb. I have to say your heart drops a bit and you’re thinking

“O Fuckaduck.”

So it was a case of looking at each other (me thinking not for the first time, “You lying bastard“), (Dave probably thinking “Hahahaha.”) And getting head down and on with it. Hard work but worth it to be honest because – when you can finally breathe again – the view is fantastic..

Great view at the summit looking out across the vista beyond the reservoir, from Oldam, Rochadale, across Manchester, taking in Ramsbottom, Peel tower and all the HUGE windmills on our right as we descend to Ramsbottom.

Would be even better on a clear blue skied, sunny, windless day. On this day though the wind was just starting to rise and the rain begin to drop.

we dropped down into Ramsbottom side and as we began a guy was climbing in the opposite direction reeeeeally working hard. And I shouted over to him “Nearly there mate!” thinking he’s got a great descent  going back the way we had come from. But I also thought “he’s making hard work of that,”  because tbh it was’nt a steep climb coming up towards us just nice and steady.

Until, that is, some 10 minutes later when we finaly hit the bottom and I just thought
“|Thank Christ we weren’t climbing that bugger.”
Because it was ALL down hill, and this poor bastard passing us must have spent about half an hour trying to ride up it.
No wonder the poor fucker just grunted coming the other way. I think he would have appreciated a small oxygen tank. And an engine.

From there on in the weather just turned and it rained and blew and rained and sprayed and – you get the picture. But, By this point theres no easy route back to the start so it was onwards and upwards. Straight in and out of Bury, Up into and out of Heywood drop down into the back of middleton. A nice snick through  brought us out near the Rose of Lancaster then off up to Oldam past the ground and a final wind down ride to Daves. Where, you find out exactly how wet, cold and numb everything is. Toes so so, hands fabulous with the new Castelli Gloves on, upper body top dollar feeling great. And, Nuts non existent. I actually think they recede  to my armpits on rides like this. But that’s a guess because I’ve yet to find exactly where they go. As long as they come back that’s all I’m bothered about.

But, a great ride and always good company. Someone you can have a good conversation with is essential and Dave is certainly that. When I can hear him over the wind that is. Otherwise I just shout “Yeah. That’s right/wrong!” depending on what I guess he’s said…

Hello 2014!!!

Well, as I sat at home on New years eve playing cards and having a quiet couple of drinks, My daughters friend Chloe began talking about her Blog. Sounded an interesting outlet and convinced me to try writing a blog. Just a general diary or events or things that touched me or made me laugh at one point or another.
So… here’s to 2014…

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