Ed Sheeran in Manchester!

Went into Manchester to do a clothing return this morning with Holly, so it was an early visit and breakfast in Katsouris on corner of Deansgate/John Dalton Street.

But, as we were walking up who did we see but Ed Sheeran (omg) walking in the opposite direction!!

Well, I say Ed Sheeran, but it was actually Ed’s Foot and a half taller and Two and a half stone heavier doppleganger. He did have the ginge thing going on, (bless him) and a remarkable resemblance to Ed. And if someone with me would have taken a picture with her Iphone, i’d have the proof of the matter. I was all for asking him for a photo with a

“Blimey! Is it really you Ed? No?? Amazing! You should have a job as Ed’s body double! Learn to lip sinc mate you’ll make a bomb!!”

Anyhow, that came to nothing as someone refused to let me approach him. (It would have been mint).

So after my Kitten breakfast, we went onto a well known low lit shop to do an exchange. How people actually make a decision on what they want to buy in there I’ll never know. Can’t see a damn thing and if you want to colour coordinate – forget about it. You’ll be wandering in and out of the place just to see exactly what colour the piece is your trying to buy. If you  buy it in there blind as you are, your only going to get home, take it out of its impressive bag and go ” Oh Fuck.”

And another thing that was brought to my attention. A friend of Emily’s works in one of the shops stores and he enlightened her on how it works.

Once in the shop any staff member  has to approach you or when you approach them  say “Hi! How are you guys?!” or “Hi guys! How’s your day?”… with (if possible) an American accent(??).

What’s all that about??

Also, each member of staff carries a small bottle of in-house scent and as they walk past customers, give a little squirt so you’ll be walking around going either

A. Mmmmmmm it sure smell nice in here.

or

B. Jesus Christ. It smells like a Brothel in here.

Either way next time your in just take a step back and watch.

Finally, This shop is nothing but determined to promote its brand. The better looking staff are front row, on display to customers and have to fit particular requirements. Mainly Thin. As fuck. They’d make a speedo thong look baggy.  The lesser blessed staff are kept in the rear, lower lit areas. With some of the brighter ( get home and go “Oh Fuck”) clothes. So theres probably some rivalry between staff members. You can imagine front shop staff in the canteen with the back shop staff going, ” You can only DREAM about looking this good. Fatty.” It would be like an OCD bulimics nightmare.

So, if he was actually looking for a job there, poor old “Ed Sheeran” on John Dalton street would be fucked. Too tall. Too fat. And wayyyyyyyyy to ginger. (Bless).

 

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